Mother's Intuition: Dealing with Doctors...

Just about a year ago, we took McKenzie to an pediatric opthalmologist to see about getting her left eye problem fixed.

At our first appointment everything went well and the doctor said she just needed glasses and that the problem would be solved. He did inform us at that time, however, that sometimes surgery is required to fix any lingering problems if the glasses aren't fixing everything. We had regular appointments every 3 months so that he'd have a good indication if anything was getting worse so that we would have time to correct the problem before she looses any vision in her left eye.

So after about 6 months I started noticing that Kenzie's eye was starting to drift while she was wearing her glasses. I brought it up at her next 2 appointments and that I felt she needed a patch or prism for her glasses to help strengthen her eye instead of just letting the glasses "ease" the tension. The doctor simply told me, "No she doesn't need a patch. A little crossing is expected. She's fine." No joke, that's all he would tell me...

So yesterday she had another appointment. I had stewed about the patch idea for a few weeks and had decided that I would just tell him straight out that if he wasn't going to do something about it, then I was. ("Momma Bear" was ready to come out and fight ;) Not only did he tell me sternly that a patch was not the answer, he had the nerve to tell me (after having only looked at her for less than 30 seconds) that, "She needs surgery. And I'm going to schedule it for next week."

WHAT?!?!!! You mean to tell me that everything was "fine" over the last 6 months and now she needs surgery within the week? Immediately I had a sick feeling of distrust wave over me. I had been patient with this doctor for almost a year and put up with his "I'm the one with the diploma and you don't know jack" attitude, because hey, he's the doctor. But I realized that every time I had asked a question over the last 6 times we'd been to his office, he hadn't even really explained to me what the specifics of her diagnosis and treatment were. When I asked him about the surgery, the most I could get out of him was that, "it takes less than an hour and the recovery time is 24 hours. It's a very simple precedure." And then he told me to go to the front desk to schedule it, and walked out of the room.

I left the office with some brochures about the facilities and how to prepare your child for surgery (wondering if they have one for the parents too...) got into the car and called Micah. It was so hard not to cry. I felt like I had been betrayed, and that this doctor had neglected my daughter the proper treatment early on, so that he could make a quick buck later. We decided it would be best to get a second opinion and within a half hour, Micah had found a doctor who had high ratings online and who accepted our insurance. I called them and explained the situation and we had an appointment scheduled for this morning.

When I got home I looked up a bunch of information up online about McKenzie's diagnosis. I found some literature that said patching does work in some cases (which gave me a little hope) but I knew that surgery may be a reality in the future depending on what the second doctor told us. I also looked up ratings of our current doctor and wasn't really shocked to see that of the 8 ratings I found, not a single person had given him higher than 1 out of 4 stars. Here's some examples:

"[He] didn't listen to my concerns at all and promptly recommended surgery for a Chalazion. I'm going to another Dr. for a second opinion before putting my child under the knife. This Dr. treated us like cattle and seemed to just want to make our visit 'worth' his time by prescribing surgery."

"The following conclusions are drawn from my interactions with [him] during his exams of my two-year-old daughter. He's a pediatric doctor who apparently doesn't like kids. He's not patient - especially if other children are along for the ride. He doesn't seem to care about his patients."

"At the time there were no other pediatric ophthalmologists in our county, we now wish we would've gone up to SLC. [He] has little bedside manner and gives vague answers to questions I asked. For example: I asked if my daughter would need surgery again and he responded 'I dropped my crystal ball on the freeway.' He's a good surgeon, just doesn't have good communication skills."
*(Here's where I have to point out that he said the EXACT same thing to me about the crystal ball when I asked him about surgery on Kenzie 6 months ago)

So this morning we had an ENTIRELY different experience. The doctor we saw is not a pediatric ophtalmologist, but he could've fooled me! He was so kind and patient with Kenzie (who did very well by the way- she liked going to the "docker") He actually took the time to listen to my concerns and spent about 40 minutes explaining McKenzie's diagnosis with us. He answered ALL of my questions to my satisfaction and I finally got an answer for why a patch won't help McKenzie's situation. She has what is called "Accomodative Esotropia" and a candidate for a patch has to have a problem between 10-15%. McKenzie's is 20%, and so the verdict is yes, she will in fact need the surgery. But this doctor doesn't feel that it is so urgent as to warrant a surgery within the week. We discussed how Micah and I felt it would be better financially if we could postpone the surgery until January, but that obviously if it needed to be done sooner we would do it. Our daughter's well being is the most important factor, after all...

The surgery is fairly simple. It is called Bilateral Medial Rectis surgery(BMR) Basically they'll detach the muscles that hold onto the eye and relax the one pulling too hard on her left by cutting and reattaching. They have to do it to both eyes (even though only the left eye has the problem) because if they straighten the left, the right will then over compensate and cross. It's amazing how the eyes work together, huh? He also informed us that even though this will very much improve McKenzie's problem, she may still have to have another surgery like this a few years down the road. She will also still need her glasses, but we figured that would be the case since her actual vision is so bad, so no suprises there.

He asked us how our relationship was with the other doctor, and as soon as I mentioned his name this doctor got a slight smirk on his face. (Not a rude or competitive "Ha!-I've-just-won-over-my-competition's-patient" kind of smirk) It was a "I've-heard-this-story-a-million-times-before" kind of look. He did confirm that he gets called a LOT about second surgical opinions from patients of this other guy, and that he often ends up referring them to a different pediatric group up in Salt Lake when the parents don't feel they can handle any more of Dr. ThinksSoHighlyOfHimself.

So here's where we are as of right now- We're going to see if McKenzie can become a new patient of one of the three pediatric opthalmologists at the Moran Eye Center in SLC. (these 3 plus our current doc are the only 4 peidatric ops within 100 miles of Provo- and I'm more than willing to drive to SLC if it means being treated with kindness and respect) Until then, I've called the current doc and cancelled the surgery "until further notice." The doc we saw today said his office would work on getting all of Kenzie's records transferred for us so we won't have to deal with the awkward "breakup." I still plan on writing our current doctor and letting him have a piece of my mind as to why he is losing our business...hehehehe.... And we're hoping that a new pediatric op will be able to see McKenzie within the next 2 months and schedule the surgery.

Even though the outcome of the appointment this morning was basically the same as yesterday's (the only change being the date of the surgery) I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I realized that I should have listened to the nagging voice of doubt 6 months ago and started looking for a different doctor who would treat me and my child like human beings instead of just a paycheck. So to all you mothers who are reading this, please learn from me and listen to that intuition that I know God has given us. We know deep down what is best, and even a good doctor should recognize that gift.